The charts below show what uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

#show #uk #graduate #students #time #work #college

The bar charts illustrate graduate and postgraduate

students

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

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who did not find a full-time

job

after their graduation in the UK in the year 2008.

Overall

, the number of graduate

students

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

much higher than postgraduate ones.

In addition

, it is crystal clear that most of the graduates and postgraduates continued their FE (

further

education) in that specific year.

In contrast

, a few of the juveniles in

this

age range preferred to do some voluntary work after finishing their study. In the

graduates

Change to a genitive case

graduate's

graduates'

show examples

chart, 29665

students

continued their

further

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

in 2008.

On the other hand

, only 3500 of them did some voluntary

job

. About 16000

Change preposition

apply

show examples

juveniles were unemployed after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

graduation and

also

about half of the total amount of people in

this

chart found a part-time

job

as a way to live the rest of their lives. In the postgraduates chart, there was just a little difference between the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of young people who were interested in the HE (higher education) and the ones who found

a part-time work

Remove the article

part-time work

a part-time job

show examples

. The amount of them

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

2725 and 2535

students

in each segment respectively. There were a few postgraduate

students

about 345 who chose to do voluntary

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

after finishing

university’s

Correct article usage

the university’s

show examples

courses in 2008.

Submitted by parianabiloo78 on Tue May 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, job with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

206 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show what uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qualification for successful work?