IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientist in today’s world. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientist #today’s #world
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World
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The world
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 is growing and changing
everyday
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every day
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with
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at
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a
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an
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 unpredictable speed. A number of masses of human
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
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 that inventors
holds
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hold
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a
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apply
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less value in society compared to
the
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apply
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infulencers
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influencers
 nowadays. I totally disagree with the notion and will discuss my views in
following
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the following
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, entertainment became a basic necessity of generation in today's era because of the rapid growth of technology especially
the
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apply
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smartphones. In the
chase
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case
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 of temporary pleasure, everyone like to spend their leisure time by scrolling on screens.
According to
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 one study, the United
states
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States
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 is home to the majority of TikTok users worldwide. Because of
this
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, the artists on these type of social application became a first priority of youth these days as everyone spend their
most
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apply
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time
to
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apply
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watching their reels and vlogs.
Moreover
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,
thr
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the
 performers
of
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on
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 big stages
such
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 as
theatre
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the theatre
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 and
music
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the music
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 industry, have been in people's heart
from
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for
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 a long time even
some
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though some
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 of them are
a
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apply
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role model
of
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to
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public
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the public
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 which makes it totally clear,
the
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that
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 actors and singers holds
a
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apply
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high importance. On
other
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the other
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 hand, the growth and development the world have today is all because of the hard work and dedication of our researchers. They meant
alot
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a lot
 to
the
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apply
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society. We should not forget that all the technology we are enjoying today is invented by them. So, it proves
the
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that
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 inventors deserve more importance than others. As I round out
this
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 paragraph, I encourage people to appreciate the hard work of our hidden heroes. There is no
deny
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denying
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 to the fact that entertainers
is
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are
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also
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 important but the platforms they are using to entertain all of us are
also
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 provided by our scientists.
Submitted by sukh24deol on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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