Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Thanks to

enhancement

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the enhancement

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of technology, human has already been experiencing a lot of convenience.

According to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, many

children

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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been exposed to an environment that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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cannot help using

smartphones

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. Because of the situation, it is essential for us to

analysis

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analyse

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why

this

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thing happened and a positive side and negative

effect

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effects

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exist.

This

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essay will explore possible reasons and personal

thought

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thoughts

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on the issue. First of all, we have to notice

that

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apply

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why kids use

smartphones

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every single day. In my opinion, it is evident that they have

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apply

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plenty of loneliness. Nowadays, a double-income family has significantly increased and

then

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it is required for

children

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to look for their own pleasant.

Additionally

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due to

Linking Words

Corona virus

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Coronavirus

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, outside activities have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

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decreased and

this

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circumstance takes their friends and playgrounds.

Thus

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, it can

be mention

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be mentioned

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that

children

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opt for inevitably

utilize

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utilising

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electronic gadgets to reduce loneliness. Another reason is that a lot of people are

make

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take

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advantage of

smartphones

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According to

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data

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from

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Korean

Correct article usage

the Korean

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government,

possession

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the possession

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rate of

smartphones

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for Korean is over 90% even including 1-11 ages.

This

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is because Korea has developed quickly information technology.

As a result

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, it is possible that

children

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have to play with

smartphones

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not to feel a sense of

left

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being left

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out.

In personal

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Personal

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, I think that

this

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phenomenon is undesirable since they could lose some unforgettable memories with their friends. In the past, plenty of individuals used to spend time with their friends and

then

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go outside and do play

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apply

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hide-and-seek. Even now, those experiences make me laugh with happiness and joy and

also

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give

Correct pronoun usage

me more

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energy to do better all of

things

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the things

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I have to do.

However

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, if

children

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keep using

smartphones

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, they cannot obtain those kinds of memories. In my perspective, they could not relish a huge amount of outside

works

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work

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in the future.

Furthermore

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, it is harmful to maintain

healthy

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health

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when many kids focus on their own screens.

In particular

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, the case of Korean students, they are familiar with sedentary

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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owing to academic elitism.

In addition

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this

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problem, using

smartphones

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can cause a variety of health problems

such

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as ocular pain, back pain, and digestive trouble.

Moreover

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, it could result in difficulties with concentration because a lot of

children

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probably glimpse into their massage or social network services on their own phones even during studying.

Consequently

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, watching

smartphone’s

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smartphone

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screens all the time leads to

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apply

show examples

serious health

problem

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problems

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. In conclusion, many young ages tend to use

smartphones

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almost every day

since

Correct word choice

because

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they feel

loneliness

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lonely

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and do not want to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sense of

left

Add a missing verb

being left

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out.

Additionally

Linking Words

, there are two aspects regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue; a positive and a negative.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I believe that it is possible to bring more negative impacts like losing

cherish

Wrong verb form

cherished

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memory and causing health problems.

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents have to notice their

children

Use synonyms

’s

statue

Correct your spelling

status

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. If they are obsessed with using

smartphone

Add an article

a smartphone

show examples

, it is crucial to take apart from their addictive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Submitted by bb24946 on Tue May 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

490 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

The process below shows the production of sugar by a German company for supermarkets and restaurants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the key features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.