Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

The life expectancy of the developed countries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increased
due to
the advancement of science and technology in the
health
services.
This
has increased the number of
people
living in the
retirement
age
and some
people
want to increase the
age
limit of
retirement
.
This
essay will argue why increasing the
retirement
age
is entirely necessary despite public opposition.
Firstly
, the number of
people
receiving benefits after
retirement
is increasing every year than those who contribute to the social security system. Most of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will start to
work
at the
age
of 21 after completing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college,
this
percentage of
people
who starts working is less when compared to
people
who get retired.
Moreover
,
people
in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group between 70 to 80 are increasing as they proceed to live a longer life and require more benefits.
For example
, senior citizen requires more
health
services which are funded by social security benefit.
This
is causing the government to allocate more funds for
retirement
and
health
care benefits in their annual budget.
On the other hand
, senior
people
argue they have already contributed enough to the
benefit
Change the noun form
benefits
show examples
systems and they are not prepared to
work
more.
Also
, those who are working in the manufacturing sector are having more
health
complications and are not able to
work
after a certain
age
limit.
For example
, a recent study shows that workers in the mining industry are getting cancer in the early stages of life than those who
work
in other sectors.
Therefore
, if government take some decision to increase the
retirement
age
, they need to consider all the stakeholders. In my opinion, it is absolutely necessary to increase the
retirement
age
to save the social security system and for the economic growth of the country even though it is going to affect some sections of
people
.
Submitted by shiva_smvec on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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