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Band 5.5

Students at schools and universities can learn more from lessons with their teachers than from other sources, such as the Internet and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #schools #universities #lessons #teachers #sources #internet #television
Education plays
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 very important role in
human's
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human
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 life. Some people believe the in-person study with teachers at learning institutes is more beneficial compared to the knowledge pupils gain by using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and television. I completely agree with
this
 idea and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will support my opinion with examples.
To begin
 with, electric gadgets are full
with
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of
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 distractions. There
enormous
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an enormous
the enormous
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 number of applications
such
 as
instagram
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Instagram
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, TikTok and many more
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 usually disturb the focus of
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
while
 studying on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
For example
-
According to
 one study,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students do not take online
clssses
Correct your spelling
classes
serious
Change the word
seriously
show examples
 as they do in-person classes. So, screens
attracts
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attract
show examples
 pupils towards other things on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
instead
 of devoting their time to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
. Another reason why I agree with physical classes is that It makes a good relationship of
learners
 with each other and with their teachers which is very essential.
Student
Fix the agreement mistake
Students
show examples
 learn good moral values
such
 as respect, support each other and so on.
Moreover
, a good attachment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
educator
Correct article usage
an educator
show examples
 makes a pupil feel confident to ask whatever question in his mind. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, despite the fact that the
internet
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
learners
, It
also
 makes knowledge more accessible to them. What I mean by saying
this
 is that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 instructor is not available to
learners
 all the time and they can search
whatever
Change preposition
for whatever
show examples
 they want to learn on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
.
For example
- there are enormous channels on youtube which
teachs
Correct your spelling
teach
 very good English.
Hence
, Smartphones are always ready to answer any question at any time in
this
 technological era. In conclusion,
although
 online education is easily available
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the lessons with mentors are more beneficial because of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 distractions and more personal touch. I believe the traditional way of conveying education to
learners
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way.
Submitted by sukh24deol on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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