In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

Nowadays, most nations' societies do not believe

marriage

is necessary for

females

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because financial independence is considered prevalent among

females

. From my perspective, I believe

this

develops leading a positive society

due to

all the genders having more opportunities. There are already seen many distinguished

females

outstanding in some aspect. Taking the whole world into view,

females

dedicate to work are much more than before, they regard obtaining their single life through their own hard work to have a commitment to someone that secures their savings. Many

females

are even unwilling to get married to prevent their accomplishment not stolen by males.

For example

, a woman CEO reach a business achievement on their own, but if she is getting married, people may think it is from her husband's family or are helped by her husband.

On the other hand

, some people, especially young adults think

marriage

is an archaic concept these days, throughout

this

relationship makes they give up some freedom. They prefer to have a romantic relationship for a short period rather than have a commitment with a certain person.

Furthermore

marriage

in Asia is more restricted to Asian women.

For instance

, a married female needs to serve their husband's family

due to

tradition, which causes many negative problems in the family.

Thus

females

keep single to avoid serving parents-in-law. In conclusion, financial independence may the main reason that

females

are not in a

marriage

, but not the only reason that women desire to take control of their life.

Submitted by miriam3388 on Wed May 03 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, there is a growing concern about the quality of education. What are the reasons behind this issue, and what measures can be taken to improve the education system?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this stetement?