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Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

#people #lives #change
There is a saying every change comes with risks, and
possibilites
Correct your spelling
possibilities
,
while
 some enjoy a stable
life
 with the same routine, others are willing to trade in their stabilities for the perks of potential chances. I am personally in favour of the latter opinion since
life
 is not stone steal, it will
changes
 eventually,
instead
 of waiting passively for
changes
 to come, it is better to conduct it ahead.
To begin
 with, there are various causes for
people
 to seek a regular
life
, including having families to look after or ageing. Since the upbringing of children will cause a tidy sum of money, parents need to ensure a consistent income, which reduces the ability to endure risks.
Moreover
, the costs of making
changes
 indicate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positively proportional to age,
in other words
, it is harder for elderly
people
 to make a difference than young individuals.
However
, many successful
people
 who contribute to great improvements are those who refuse to follow the old path and seeking for change, including scientists, entrepreneurs and politicians. Take Elon Musk as an example, he is the pioneer who introduced electricity cars into
people
's daily
life
, which almost caused him bankrupt when he encountered different unwanted situations. It turns out everything he did
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 worth to make him one of the most well-known businessmen in the world. To summarise, despite that a long-term career in the same position could ensure a regular salary to support families, the value of making
changes
 should not be overlooked.
Therefore
, I totally agree with the perspectives supporting
people
 to explore more possibilities by making
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
 in their
life
, regardless of potential hazards and difficulties derived from
such
 behaviour.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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