IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

#people #lives #change
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a saying every change comes with risks, and
possibilites
Correct your spelling
possibilities
,
while
Linking Words
 some enjoy a stable
life
Use synonyms
 with the same routine, others are willing to trade in their stabilities for the perks of potential chances. I am personally in favour of the latter opinion since
life
Use synonyms
 is not stone steal, it will
changes
Use synonyms
 eventually,
instead
Linking Words
 of waiting passively for
changes
Use synonyms
 to come, it is better to conduct it ahead.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are various causes for
people
Use synonyms
 to seek a regular
life
Use synonyms
, including having families to look after or ageing. Since the upbringing of children will cause a tidy sum of money, parents need to ensure a consistent income, which reduces the ability to endure risks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the costs of making
changes
Use synonyms
 indicate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positively proportional to age,
in other words
Linking Words
, it is harder for elderly
people
Use synonyms
 to make a difference than young individuals.
However
Linking Words
, many successful
people
Use synonyms
 who contribute to great improvements are those who refuse to follow the old path and seeking for change, including scientists, entrepreneurs and politicians. Take Elon Musk as an example, he is the pioneer who introduced electricity cars into
people
Use synonyms
's daily
life
Use synonyms
, which almost caused him bankrupt when he encountered different unwanted situations. It turns out everything he did
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 worth to make him one of the most well-known businessmen in the world. To summarise, despite that a long-term career in the same position could ensure a regular salary to support families, the value of making
changes
Use synonyms
 should not be overlooked.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I totally agree with the perspectives supporting
people
Use synonyms
 to explore more possibilities by making
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
 in their
life
Use synonyms
, regardless of potential hazards and difficulties derived from
such
Linking Words
 behaviour.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: