IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries fast food becomes part of life. It affects people’s lifestyle and diet as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

The past half-century saw the rise of the fast
food
Use synonyms
 industry.
This
Linking Words
 sector continuously
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
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 and
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 a major role in daily life
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has bad effects on
people
Use synonyms
’s lifestyle and diets. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, my viewpoint on
this
Linking Words
 topic will be described. It is obvious that fast
food
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 cropping up in many countries and there are extremely popular ,especially in
hustling
Use the right word
bustling
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city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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such
Linking Words
 as New York, Bangkok and Boston. Many workers and students prefer fast
food
Use synonyms
 because healthy foods are time-consuming and
also
Linking Words
 more expensive than fast
food
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
gapping
Verb problem
grilling
show examples
 some
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
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 may save time than cooking Pokeblow (The name of a healthy dish which contains rice, salmon, and many grilled vegetables). Our life seems to be more convenient since fast
food
Use synonyms
 is very accessible.
However
Linking Words
, convenience
food
Use synonyms
 is not a good choice for
losing
Wrong verb form
people trying to lose
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 weight
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
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because of the bad ingredients
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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contained
Wrong verb form
contains
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that fast
food
Use synonyms
 affects
people
Use synonyms
’s health. The majority of junk
food
Use synonyms
’s ingredients are high in carbohydrates, fats and sodium
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 lead to many diseases. Several medical articles reveal that addicted
fast
Change preposition
to fast
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food
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will get a high risk of obesity, diabetes and heart problems.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are into
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 should
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise, balance their diet and do intermittent fasting to help their digestive system. In conclusion, it is obvious that convenience foods have a tremendous effect on
people
Use synonyms
’s everyday
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and health. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 should avoid them as much as possible to stay healthy and for
longevity
Check wording
a long
show examples
 life.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in your introduction. This can help guides the reader on what to expect in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas. Words like 'however', 'moreover', and 'for example' can help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Try to give more detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer for the reader.
task achievement
Your opinion on fast food is clear, and you provide some examples to support your point.
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