Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #money #celebrations #waste

In the modern world, some individuals prefer to make

birthday

party

Fix the agreement mistake

parties

show examples

for all family members in

luxury

Correct article usage

a luxury

show examples

style, which need

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount of money.

However

, others believe that it is

unnecessary

Add an article

an unnecessary

show examples

thing. First of all, people suppose

birthday

Correct article usage

a birthday

show examples

is a special day in the year. They tend to

choice

Replace the word

choose

show examples

the best cafe, club or bar to celebrate. But,

time

Change preposition

from time

show examples

to time they can not effort it.

Then

, in most cases,

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

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a debt to make

party

Add an article

the party

a party

show examples

. The reason why is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

eating out, decoration and live music may cost a lot. Sometimes parents

keen

Add a missing verb

are keen

show examples

to make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

the best

birthday

party for kids. In case, they

eager

Add a missing verb

are eager

show examples

to make valuable memories with friends and family.

On the other hand

, some adults are concerned about bills and prices. They think that

birthday

Correct article usage

a birthday

show examples

ordinary

Add an article

an ordinary

show examples

thing.

Furthermore

,there are

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

big differences between celebrations, so,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

lost meaning for people. On top of that, they prefer to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

stuff.

For instance

, buying clothes, electronic devices, private transport or

invest

Wrong verb form

investing

show examples

money.

Overall

, eating out, drinks, decorations plus cake are not so

pleasure

Replace the word

pleasant

show examples

for them.

To sum up

, in many societies celebrations are

must-have

Add an article

a must-have

the must-have

show examples

thing, especially for children. On the other side, individuals strongly believe that it is just

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

and personal time.

Submitted by olqa.zvereva01 on Wed May 03 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cherish
nurture
strengthen
bond
create memories
enjoyment
sense of belonging
reconnect
unite
traditions
create traditions
financial burden
priorities
moderation
budget
frugal
extravagant

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Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The digital age has made the gap between the younger and older generations wider. Give reasons for your own answer.

1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

Many companies invest their money in sport games for advertisement purposes. Some people think it's good for the sport world, while others believe that it has some disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.