Celebrities are famous for their weath and glamorous lifestyle instead of their achievements. This sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money
and wealth make
people
renowned without striking their achievements.
People
who have a lot of
money
have a great lifestyle and
this
causes forming an idea among other
people
especially young
people
about property is everything. I do not agree with the idea the reason is that
money
does not solve all human-related problems and
this
has a negative impact on young
people
.
Money
gives
people
a more comfortable life and lets them crack their problems.
This
reason gives
people
Submitted by turka2689 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize material wealth
  • genuine achievement
  • unrealistic understanding of success
  • significant effort or skill
  • glamorous lifestyle
  • negative self-esteem
  • mental health issues
  • comparing themselves
  • seemingly perfect lives
  • skewed perception of reality
  • promote positive social causes
  • constructive activities
  • positive influence
  • overshadow
  • motivational factor
  • overcome significant challenges
  • perseverance
  • dedication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: