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Writing Samples
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #group #students #classroom #home
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Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
established a
school
 in the past, it has been
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 essential institution for studying among all students around the world.
In addition
 to that, new methods for education have shown up
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
such
 as online courses because of COVID-19 and it makes people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn something anywhere out of the
school
.
However
, I am of the opinion that studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. The reason why is that making a social
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and learning rules or regulations from teachers are significantly important .
Firstly
, pupils who are time to go to
school
 need to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 that we can not afford to live without a social relationship.
For example
, a
success
Replace the word
successful
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business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
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 always has a
strength
Replace the word
strong
show examples
 connection with most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people when they do business with other partners. If there is no chance to be taught how to make and sustain the relationship in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation could not form it
as well as
 it leads them to fail
their
Change preposition
in their
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 dream in the future.
Hence
, they must be involved in a classroom during their period of learning.
Secondly
, young children should be given the lesson regard of rules and regulations
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their tutors.
For instance
, if they attend a class through a video call they can not feel obeying the order from teachers because nobody will not know they are breaking the rule or not under the camera. The only way to learn conditions is
attending
Change preposition
by attending
show examples
 the class and
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 the
act
Replace the word
actions
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
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 somebody so that pupils can recognize what rules and regulations are in the real situation. In conclusion,
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
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 of participating
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
lecture in the real world is quite critical for the young generation who has to absorb many things they can learn from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to staying at home.
Therefore
, I think not only children must get involved in their lectures unless they have a tough situation to attend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 but
also
 the government should encourage parents to send their kids to
real
Add an article
the real
a real
show examples
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 rather than
stucking
Correct your spelling
sticking
 at home.
Submitted by rk99dk88 on

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