IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
People have different views about how to define the purpose of
museums
 these days.
While
 in some ways it may seem reasonable to go into
museums
 for education, I personally believe that
museums
 for entertainment can engage the public’s interest and activate society. There are various reasons why it might be considered beneficial to regard
museums
 as places where is an educational environment. A lot of people from kids to adults are willing to acquire knowledge whatever they want to know through
museums
 that provide high-quality education. By introducing the positive impact, many schools or academies go on
a field trips
Correct the article-noun agreement
field trips
a field trip
show examples
 for students to give opportunities to experience new things.
In addition
 to that, in terms of education, students can understand their subjects more effectively in the process of research. These benefits could regard the
museums
 to be educational. Despite the aforementioned above, I stand by the fact that
museums
 should be shown as entertaining places. We always encounter difficulties in entering the
museums
 because of solemn moods, difficult works and exhibitions. It has been shown that the number of
museums
 for entertaining and engaging roses nowadays. These
museums
 usually provide a variety of events for the public to participate in directly,
this
 has positive effects ranging from promoting a museum to tourists’ interest. At the same time, it could
also
 lead to greater demand for a culture industry and economy of a society. In conclusion,
although
 it might seem helpful to recognize
museums
 as educational places, I personally prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertaining museum that can attract the eyes of people and encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural and economic society.
Submitted by soo22109 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: