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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below shows the development of village of Rye mouth between 1995 and present

The map below shows the development of village of Rye mouth between 1995 and present
#development #village #rye #mouth
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The drawing highlights the changes
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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 taken place at Rye mouth village between 1995 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly noticeable that more facilities are installed including
tennis
Correct article usage
a tennis
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 court, golf section, car parking, apartment and many more. Starting with the housing section, in the year 1995 there were 12 houses which
palce
Correct your spelling
place
 is now upgraded with 4 more houses. On the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the map, there was farmland and forest part in 1995, which is now removed and converted into
golf
Correct article usage
a golf
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 and tennis court. Following the housing road on the west
side
Use synonyms
, earlier there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 5 shops which are too converted into restaurants. On the opposite
side
Use synonyms
 of the shop, there was
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
the hotel
show examples
 in 1995, which still remains as it
is accompany
Change the verb form
is accompanied
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with
Change preposition
by
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car
Correct article usage
a car
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 park. Crossing the road on South West
side
Use synonyms
, the fish market is removed and apartments
are construct
Change the verb form
are constructed
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instead
Linking Words
 of it.
Cafe
Correct article usage
The cafe
show examples
 on South East
side
Use synonyms
 of
map
Add an article
the map
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 still remains
unchange
Correct your spelling
unchanged
.
Lastly
Linking Words
 fishing Port is
also
Linking Words
 removed.
Submitted by samruddhinibandhe0 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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