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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The line graph illustrates the mean emission of
carbon
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dioxide
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 by every person from 1967 to 2007 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Sweden
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, Italy and
Partugal
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Portugal
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
production
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 over
given
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a given
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 period in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom and
Sweden
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.
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 emission increased from 1967 to 2007 in Italy and Portugal. In the final year,
United
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the United
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 Kingdom emitted
highest
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the highest
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 amount of
carbon
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dioxide
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 but
Sweden
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 and Portugal released
minimum
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the minimum
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 amount of
this
Linking Words
 gas. In
UK
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the UK
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, above ten metric
tonnes
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 was
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
 in 1967 and
this
Linking Words
 emission
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased dramatically over time and in 2007, it was reduced to above 8 metric
tonnes
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. In
Sweden
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, the
production
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 was approximately 9 metric
tonnes
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 which rose
up
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apply
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to 10 metric
tonnes
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 in 1977 and
then
Linking Words
 started decreasing and in 2007,
it's
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its
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production
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 was
closed
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close
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 to 5 metric
tonnes
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. In 1967, Italy and Portugal had emitted
carbon
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dioxide
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 upto 4 and approximately 1 metric
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tonnes
Fix the agreement mistake
tonne
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 respectively which began to rise and in 2007, the
production
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 was near to 8 and 6 metric
tonnes
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 for Italy and Portugal respectively but the change was that Portugal had emitted lowest amount of
carbon
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dioxide
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.
Submitted by alizaryab78691011 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, sweden, production, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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