Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is contended that
parents
who pay for their
children
's private school should be excluded from supporting the
taxation
system
and
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
education budgeting.
Although
I acknowledge the strains imposed on these families, I do not reckon that
this
decision would be a viable approach
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
the problem. On the
one
hand, there are several reasons why paying taxes is not a desirable act for
parents
who send their
children
to private schools.
One
of the main reasons for
this
grievance is the extra strain that
taxation
imposes on these families. Private schools demand high tuition fees and exorbitant prices for extra-curricular activities.
In addition
, the constant rivalry among students about their properties necessitates
parents
to spend a significant portion of their money in order to accommodate their
children
's needs, ultimately leaving them with little money to allocate to their own interests and needs. In these situations, adding
taxation
to their daily expenditure would only put undue pressure on these hardworking mothers and fathers.
Secondly
,
taxation
is defined as collective fundraising to construct amenities and provide services that benefit individuals.
Therefore
, supporting the state's education
system
, which does not bring about any benefits to these affluent families, should not be demanded.
However
,
this
decision not only is impractical but
also
brings about conflicts among different social groups. First and foremost, assessing the exact amount of reduction in
one
's tax is an activity that requires hiring numerous staff and countless mundane calculations.
This
means that in order to act in favour of wealthy individuals who are not keen on paying extra money, governments have to spend a significant portion of the nation's
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
, which is supposed to be invested in activities that benefit the whole society, for a futile act that causes knock-on consequences.
One
of these inadvertently caused problems is injustice.
While
the majority of citizens, apart from
children
, pay taxes, they do not use all these amenities.
For instance
, most people are fortunate enough not to call fire brigades or police.
However
, they contribute to the collective activity of
fund raising
Correct your spelling
fundraising
show examples
for these services by paying taxes.
As a result
, excluding affluent
parents
who can pay for private schools from
this
system
violates other citizens' rights and dissuades them from obeying the rules. In conclusion,
While
taxation
and supporting
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
education
system
might not be in favour
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
wealthy people, it is inevitable to collaborate in these activities as a member of a society in order to prevent
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
financial waste and
further
conflict among citizens.
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relevant specific examples
Consider providing more concrete examples. For example, you could mention specific services funded by taxes that benefit society as a whole, not just public education.
logical structure
Make sure each paragraph clearly contributes to your argument. Minor rephrasing could enhance logical flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively frame the argument.
complete response
Your response is complete and addresses both sides of the argument clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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