The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The graph illustrates changes in the number of access to two

music

sites (

Music

Choice

and Pop Parade) in 15

days

. As can be seen from the graph, both the websites’ figures experience a fluctuation and end up having higher visits than at the beginning of the period.

However

, it is the

Music

Choice

that undergoes more significant changes

overall

To begin

with,

Music

Choice

receives remarkable access

initially

at nearly 120 times. After that, it oscillates in a downward trend and reaches a low of 40 6

days

later.

However

, on day 11, the figure surges dramatically at 140 times, and despite falling again between 80 and 100 visits on day 13, it

finally

peaks at 160 views. Regarding Pop Parade, the site has a more humble start than

Music

Choice

at only 40 visits and spikes at 60 viewers on day 3. In the next 8

days

, the number fluctuates around 20 to 40 views.

However

, within 2

days

later, it soars rapidly to 120,

then

ends at 70 access by the end of the time span.

Submitted by vinhduong010103 on Thu May 04 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music, choice, days with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

179 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Music sites
Web traffic
Number of visits
Trend analysis
Initial phase
Steady increase
Fluctuations
Significant change
Peaks
Turning point
Growth rate
Seasonal variation
Comparative analysis
Long-term trend

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The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?