Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think is a positive or a negative development ?
Smartphones have made our lifestyle much more convenient compared to the past. It is often argued that children have devoted
large
amount of time Change the article
a large
on
smartphones and have the risk to develop an adverse effect. Change preposition
to
Linking Words
However
as to whether it is a blessing or curse, there arises a heated debate among people. As far Add a comma
,However
I’m
concerned, I strongly agree that despite the advantages Correct word choice
as I’m
are
provided by mobile gadgets, Unnecessary verb
apply
but
Correct word choice
apply
its
drawbacks shouldn’t be denied Correct pronoun usage
their
such
as the impact towards education and cataract issues.
Undeniably, Linking Words
kids
manage to improve their cognitive development through games as they can unleash their creativity on Use synonyms
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, the advantages stand Linking Words
only
a tiny proportion of the Change preposition
for only
overall
picture. Articles have proven that Linking Words
kids
tend to develop a stronger addiction towards video games Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
which
lead
to a failure to cope with their education. To support Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
this
, Apple has recently released Linking Words
a
data that the average screen time from a kid’s device is 7 hours daily. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, Linking Words
kids
have the potential to learn violation through Use synonyms
virtual-reality
and apply it Correct your spelling
virtual reality
into
real life Change preposition
in
due to
Linking Words
immature
enough to differentiate matters around us.
Add a missing verb
being immature
Furthermore
, youngsters always face a common health issue known as neck injury Linking Words
due to
long-term Linking Words
of
glaring on a device by using an incorrect posture. Change preposition
apply
Nonetheless
, they Linking Words
also
suffered from weak communication skills Linking Words
due to
most of the Linking Words
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
are
being spent on Unnecessary verb
apply
the
entertainment and not having a conversation with others. Correct article usage
apply
This
fortifies the fact thatLinking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
kids
Use synonyms
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
a
higher risk of developing isolation. Not only Change preposition
to a
this
Linking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the cataract issue is Linking Words
also
one of the major public concerns Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
this
topic. Linking Words
For example
, in Linking Words
Malaysia
a majority of 70% of teenagers wore a spectacle since at a young age.
In Add a comma
,Malaysia
the
nutshell, Correct article usage
a
according to
the examples and arguments Linking Words
given
, despite Add the auxiliary verb
are given
advantages
of Correct article usage
the advantages
smartphone
is provided, Add an article
the smartphone
a smartphone
but
I personally agree that the cons outweigh the pros. In future, we will certainly see government takes greater measure to limit the usage of mobile devices Correct word choice
apply
from
Change preposition
by
kids
for the well-being of Use synonyms
community
.Add an article
the community
Submitted by coffeelimzhi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.