IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries today people are living in poverty. Why is this the case. And what can be done to solve the problem?

#countries #people #poverty #case
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Poverty has always been a topic of discussion and yet nothing will be done about it. In many of the developing countries, there are people who live without the minimum requirements for a basic living. For them, accessing the most basic things is a luxury. Many people are living in poverty not just because they do not have food, shelter and education but
also
due to
 various sorts of discrimination based on gender, nationality, exploitation, and lack of proper government support. I would take India as an example to give a better explanation. India is one of the fastest developing
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
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 in the world.
However
, poverty is a huge challenge. Rapid urbanisation is causing the rich to become richer and the poor even poorer. The world’s biggest slum is Dharavi where a family lives in cramped houses with no proper facilities. Even though the authorities have a clear idea of the happenings, they do not tend to interfere
due to
 their negligence. I would feel the best way to have a gradual decline in underdevelopment would be to use one’s own country for resources rather than depending upon foreign goods.
For example
 : We can use many of the handmade products by the artisans in our own country
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 exporting them from a different nation and paying a lump amount for the same. Let us
also
 consider another example buying vegetables in India from a local market vs packing vegetables in stores. When a person buys vegetables from the local market, they tend to bargain with the seller for a much lower price, if the same is available in a packed form, they tend to pay more than twice. Even if the government does not take any steps, at least we as citizens should take minor steps to help decrease the shortage in
one’s
Change noun form
our
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 own country.
Submitted by Vaishnavi Dasari on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on the issue. Also, provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing a clearer structure by organizing your ideas into paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • unequal distribution of resources
  • financial instability
  • cost of living
  • wage increases
  • ineffective government policies
  • corrupt government policies
  • globalization
  • job losses
  • wage reductions
  • healthcare expenses
  • social inequality
  • discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • earning potential
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