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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below Shows the total number of minutes (billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below Shows the total number of minutes (billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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In the
graph
Use synonyms
 which is used, it is shown the total
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 (billions) of calls in the UK. It is divided into three categories from 1995-2002 In the
graph
Use synonyms
, it can see different information; the lightest
gray
Change the spelling
grey
show examples
 shows the Local -
fixed
Add a hyphen
fixed-line
show examples
line
Use synonyms
. The highest in, the local, is in 1999. It went in a curve ab and
then
Linking Words
 down again. The darker
gray
Change the spelling
grey
show examples
 shows the national and international- fixed
Use synonyms
Line
Fix the agreement mistake
Lines
show examples
. Its highest was in 2002. It went higher in a
line
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. The black one is the
Mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
Mobile
show examples
 (all calls). The highest was
also
Linking Words
 in 2002. It went rapidly up and got much higher. The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the years from 1995 till 2002 and the highest is 90
minutes
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 (billions). In 1996 the
graph
Use synonyms
 shows that the local fixed
line
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 is the highest with around 80
minutes
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. After that, the National and international - fixed
line
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 with around 40
minutes
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. After National and international -
fixed
Correct article usage
the fixed
show examples
line
Use synonyms
 is the Mobiles (all calls) with around 5
minutes
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. The local fixed
line
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 is the highest in 2002,
according to
Linking Words
 the data. It has around 70
minutes
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. Directly behind with approximately 60
minutes
Use synonyms
 National and international -
fixed
Add a hyphen
fixed-line
show examples
line
Use synonyms
. Behind that with around 45
minutes
Use synonyms
Mobiles
Change preposition
of Mobiles
show examples
 (all calls).
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, minutes, line with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "divided" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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