IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Surveys show that people are living longer in many countries, which has many implications for aging individuals and for society as a whole. What are the possible effects of longer living for individuals and society?

#surveys #show #people #countries #implications #individuals #society #effects
It is common that
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
 longer nowadays. The longer
life-span
Correct your spelling
lifespan
show examples
 has become an issue for older individuals and
society
. In
this
 essay, I will explain the expected effects for each group. There are some effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 longer living for individuals. First of all, more older generations may continue to work after the age of 60. In fact,
people
 have to earn money and keep doing productive activities to maintain their standard of
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 and not feel bored as their living age
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
longer. In Korea,
for instance
, several elderly
people
 who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work in a company apply for senior consultants to delay retiring and make
Correct article usage
a buget
show examples
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
 for their longer living.
Therefore
, the
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
 will keep doing their jobs or have new jobs rather than before. When it comes to our
society
, there are
also
 several changes
due to
 the expanded lifespan.
To begin
 with, a number of social groups might focus on improving
welfare
Correct article usage
the welfare
show examples
 system for
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation compared to the past. Indeed, those organisations,
such
 as the government, local authorities, and local communities, have to invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 older
people
 because the population have been increasing.
For example
, the government may have to provide free medical examination vouchers for old
people
 to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
serious diseases and construct more facilities to take care of the
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
 who live alone or need
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
.
Hence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 may
perpare
Correct your spelling
prepare
 for the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 issue. In conclusion, the longer living issue has been general and it can affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both groups
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 and
society
 in terms of private
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
 and
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 welfare system.
Submitted by jjhtoki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: