IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control our lives while other think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their life.

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It is undoubtedly true that advancement is growing at an alarming pace. The majority of individuals ponder that technology is taking control from human hands to their hands. Others believe that technology proves a boon to complete human requirements. As far as I am concerned I am in the favour of latter notion.
This
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 essay will discuss both aspects in the upcoming paragraphs. To Commence with the first point is how automation is creating problems for humans. The predominant demerit is advancement is the biggest reason
to
Change preposition
for
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 increase the in unemployment. To explain
this
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, the equipment or machines that are made with advanced automation those able to produce material in tones that
hundred
Fix the agreement mistake
hundreds
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 of labourers are unable to do in the same duration. To cite an example majority of companies use several machines on construction sites these help them to build buildings more efficiently and perfectly in a given time duration.
Consequently
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, though gadgets are becoming a boon for some purpose they prove devastating in future for blue-collar workers.
On the other hand
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, machinery is the only way to deal with problems
such
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 as advancement used in the health sector, for Communication purposes and to
complete
Verb problem
meet
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 the
requirement
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requirements
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 of the massive population. To elaborate on
this
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, instrument and advanced devices are becoming more popular to recuperate patient who goes through fragile diseases. They deliver therapies to people who are suffering from cancer.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Health Organisation in 2022 revealed that instruments and Robotics were used by developed nations to assist patients who
fight with covid-19
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are fighting COVID-19
 and
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
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 medicine and food to them in quarantine areas.
As a result
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, It has a catastrophic effect on employment but humans can never survive without automation. Taking everything into consideration, it is an undeniable truth that technology
hit
Verb problem
has
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 devastated to environment and employment but it
also
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 helps the world to
take
Verb problem
get
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 out of fragile circumstances.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay presents some relevant points about the impact of technology, but it lacks a clear and logical structure. Make sure to organize your ideas in a cohesive manner with clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
Introduction and conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and depth. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay, and the conclusion summarizes the key arguments and provides a final perspective.
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