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Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it is waste of money

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
Family
Correct article usage
A family
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 is a group
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 related by blood or by marriage
Body paragraph 1
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
celebration
Add an article
the celebration
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 is gathering
people
Use synonyms
 when
good
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a good
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 thing has happened .
Body paragraph 2
Family
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A family
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celebration
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 is when you are gathering the whole family to celebrate something special .
Body paragraph 3
I Remy years back my aunt's wedding that took place in December it was a festival period which made all of us come down and brought the whole family together because I got to see my uncles and aunties I haven'
t
Use synonyms
 seen in years time including my grandparents it was so much fun we laughed told jokes and it was a special kind of bond .
Body paragraph 4
Some
people
Use synonyms
 didn'
t
Use synonyms
 like it because of the
money
Use synonyms
 involved each family was supposed to contribute a particular amount of
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
mone
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 made it look like u re spending
money
Use synonyms
 unnecessary
Body paragraph 5
Because at that time my parents weren'
t
Use synonyms
 ok and
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 Angry about the
money
Use synonyms
 issues because of our financial state
then
Linking Words
 so
this
Linking Words
 is why I
woul
Correct your spelling
would
 say that
people
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 like
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
Use synonyms
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
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 because of the
money
Use synonyms
 aspects.
Body paragraph 6
Regardless I think
family
Add an article
a family
the family
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celebration
Use synonyms
 is a good idea because we got to see them before
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 travelled.
Conclusion
Would love to have my own wedding like that I saw the loved and happiness it brought to us

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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