Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it is a waste of money.discuss both views

#people #money #celebration #waste

Celebration

seems like a festival because of the way they are performed and a way of bringing

people

together.majority believe that it is paramount to spend lavishly on a family

celebration

while

others believe

otherwise

This

essay will discuss both views and my notion. On the one hand,many think it is important to spend too much

money

on family

occasion

Fix the agreement mistake

occasions

show examples

This

is because these days,

people

rarely get

time

to be with each other and it is through family ceremony they spend

time

together.

For instance

, an uncle of mine who live in

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

country comes home

every

Change preposition

to every

show examples

family gathering to spend

time

with the family and he

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

a lot of

money

whenever he is around.

hence

there is

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to spend

time

with the family

On the other hand

, others think spending a lot of

money

Change preposition

show examples

a family

celebration

is a waste of

time

This

is because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some family occasion is just one day and

people

at times spend a lot of

money

which can be for donations rather than spending it lavishly.

Also

if too much

money

is spend

Change the verb form

is spent

show examples

like that

people

will not have any

saving

Fix the agreement mistake

savings

show examples

for themselves

at the end

of the family gathering.

In addition

, their standard of living may decrease and will not be able to cope with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. In conclusion,it is better to spend

money

wise

Change the word

wisely

show examples

regardless of whether there is a

celebration

or not,and it is always safe to plan ahead for any family

celebration

in order to control the amount of

money

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

on any occasion.

Submitted by oludayotemilade on Fri May 05 2023

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it is a waste of money.discuss both views

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are a important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate about whether people have the right to attend college so the governor should cover the tuition waiving. Meanwhile, from in my point of view, I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.

I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.

In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?