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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations . While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views.

#people #money #celebrations #waste
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of individuals argue that over usage of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 during household events is unsubstantial ,
however
, different exponents think that it is a crucial matter.
This
 dissertation will explain the reasons or the necessity
like
Change preposition
of
show examples
having
Add the particle
tohaving
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 get together ,happy moments
as well as
 lavishing needed funds and living extravagant life in the subsequent paragraphs. To start with , many people invite acquaintance and significant others to come and dine with them during family celebrations
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 a great deal of money are being used up . Evidently ,they believe that
this
 happy moment comes once in one's life and it needs not to be
underated
Correct your spelling
underrated
. Moreso ,
this
 is an avenue of meeting old friends and family members .lnspite, some youngsters have met their spouse by
this
 means .
For instance
 ,a lady come in contact with his childhood friend
thus
 they got engaged as life
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
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.
In addition
 ,
this
 widens the horizons of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 by knowing the trending patterns in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society particularly
Correct article usage
the
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lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
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 wears and hair
stylist
Fix the agreement mistake
stylists
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 for ladies .
In contrast
 , some of
low
Add an article
the low
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 earners and those that do not know how to manage their resources have to imitate the wealthy people
therefore
 leading to bankruptcy or liquidation of people's
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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.
Nevertheless
, run into heavy debt and may not
realizing
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
 paying them . An illustration, a family throw a
societal
Replace the word
social
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 party
at
Change preposition
in
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western
Add an article
the western
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 region of Nigeria in the year 2021 where they borrowed
loan
Correct article usage
a loan
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for
Change preposition
from
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 a bank and now their buildings were confiscated because they could not pay back the money In conclusion,
this
 disclosure
expatiate
Change the verb form
expatiates
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 on the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of having happy days with old friends
hence
 having
great
Add an article
a great
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 occasion and living in regret after
such
 celebrations .
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherish
  • nurture
  • strengthen
  • bond
  • create memories
  • enjoyment
  • sense of belonging
  • reconnect
  • unite
  • traditions
  • create traditions
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • moderation
  • budget
  • frugal
  • extravagant
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