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Band 2.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Time spins and with every
spins
Change to a singular noun
spin
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 there is change. The change brings out lots
doubts
Change preposition
of doubts
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, conflicts and controversies. So the issue of
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
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 number of people working longer hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities bring out immense
of
Change preposition
apply
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merits and demerits.
This
 essay will throw light on the valid views in upcoming paragraphs. On the positive side working longer hours had a remarkable on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people.
Firstly
 you will earn more money and it boosts your career.
For instance
, if you work hard, you will be promoted and
then
 you will earn more money. On the negative
side
Add a comma
,side
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 it has brought tremendous benefits : at the same time there
negative
Add a missing verb
are negative
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 aspects
also
 which may not be underestimated. First of all significant effects include poor work-life balance and health risks.
For example
, long work hours could lead to tiredness, fatigue and lack of attentiveness. In gist , it can be concluded by saying that everything has its own significant value . Nothing can be ignored but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 I think that the advantages are outstripped its disadvantages.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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