Chart below shows Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing high school degree course showing their salary grade after 5 years.

Chart below shows Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing high school degree course showing their salary grade after 5 years.
Illustrated by
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart is the
graduates
of destination of Anthropology
graduates
of a college
while
the table depicts various monthly
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
for different kinds of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Units measured in percentages.
Overall
, it is evident that a significant proportion of
newly
Replace the word
new
show examples
graduates
were the majority
while
daily staff and part-time employees
shown
Add a missing verb
were shown
show examples
as the least.
According to
the governmental salary earners , they were paid highly compared with other
workers
.
However
,
personal
Add an article
the personal
show examples
company
revealed
Add a missing verb
was revealed
show examples
to be the minority . To start with ,
anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
anthropologists
show examples
mounted over half of graduate
workers
and 5% of fresh
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
show examples
were one in twenty .
Nevertheless
,
non-
Correct your spelling
non-workers
show examples
workers
alumnus
Fix the agreement mistake
alumni
show examples
were noticed to be below a quarter of the sector.
Consequently
, partially and unknown
graduates
of Anthropology accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
8% exhibiting
a similar trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar trend
similar trends
show examples
. Next , from the tabular illustration, authority sectoral bodies were placed highly
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
of five years
experienced
Change the form of the verb
experience
show examples
as half of the population .Comparingly ,
free- lance
Correct your spelling
free-lance
show examples
consultants and government earners were categorized evenly with $25,000- 49,999 and $50,000-74,999 as 5% and 15% for each group .
In contrast
,it differs by
two- fifths
Correct your spelling
two-fifths
show examples
for freelance candidates though less than a third of government salaried
workers
,both had $ 75,000 -99,999 .
Lastly
, private
establishment
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establishments
show examples
recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
show examples
as the lowest proportion with less than
two- thirds
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
of$100,00+ .
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, workers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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