IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries, many people are choosing to leading an unhealthy lifestyle these days. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #lifestyle #development
In some countries, nowadays ,a greater number of citizens are opting to live a sedentary lifestyle.
While
 some
people
 tend to believe that living
such
 a life has more advantages
while
 others think it has many drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why not living a healthy life is a disadvantage and support my view with examples.
To begin
 with, a larger number of
people
 tend to spend most of their time on the Internet. They would spend hours on smart gadgets maybe watching series.
As a result
, they would be sitting in the same position a couple of times.
For instance
, a recent survey demonstrated that youths are spending most of their time on smart devices and are less physically active.
Due to
 ,
this
 they are facing several
health
 problems. Developing
health
 issues at
such
 an early age is definitely risky and probably needs to be avoided.
Furthermore
,
people
 who have unhealthy
food
 habits usually have poor
health
. Individuals consuming different
food
 items should be aware of their effects on the body. To elaborate, eating meals which are deep-fried could directly affect on person's heart.
Hence
, maintaining a proper
food
 diet is extremely important.
In addition
 to
this
, it is vital to keep our body hydrated and drink lots of water. Teenagers nowadays, probably prefer to drink cold drinks which are hazardous.
To conclude
,
people
 should take good care of their
health
. Living an unhealthy lifestyle is certainly a negative development as it has many harmful effects on the body. In order to overcome
this
, individuals should get involved in physical activities and try to consume healthy
food
 items.
Submitted by anjalipatel2705 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: