IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
The aim for every
business
 is to gain profit as much as they can. Some people claim that businesses need to contribute to the well-being of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In my point of view, it is required for every
company
 to have a corporate social responsibilities program because of some reasons mentioned below.
Firstly
, without
employees
Add a comma
,employees
show examples
 no
business
 can be run, which means
employees
 are one of the most important resources of a
company
. So every
company
 should care about their
employees
 who support the success of their
business
.
For
example
, a paint manufacturing
company
 should provide a medical
check up
Add a hyphen
check-up
show examples
 program to its
employees
 yearly since some chemicals can be harmful to humans.
Secondly
, companies should have a CSR program for the environment since there might be impacts on the environment because of their
business
,
for
example
,
pollution
 can be caused because of the waste from factories since some companies throw thrashes
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the river and gas produced from some industries can lead to air
pollution
.
Moreover
, companies should take part in community programs since the community
also
 has to suffer from the side effects made by
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
For
example
, if there was air
pollution
 in the town because of factories, people living in that town had to suffer from the
pollution
 as well.
Thus
, businesses should have social responsibilities
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
for
example
, put some proportion of profit
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 local charities. If they contribute to the well-being of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
employees
, the environment and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, their image will be enhanced and they can get awareness from the public. It is a win-win situation for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
company
.
To conclude
, even though making
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 is the main purpose for every
company
, they should take social
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 and contribute to the well-being of people and things related to their
business
 so that they can get recognition from the public which is valuable to the image of the
company
.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
Look at other essays: