Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. how might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life make poeple happy?

#people #life #money #poeple

Many individuals opine that a direct route

Change preposition

show examples

happiness

is wealth.People who have a lot of

money

can have

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

comfortable

life

than the ones who

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

However

, there are other things in

life

which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more important

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

money

and give individual satisfaction and

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to create

happiness

life

. on the one hand, there are

numerouse

Correct your spelling

numerous

ways to be happy when

masses

Correct article usage

the masses

show examples

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gigabucks

Correct your spelling

megabucks

Firstly

, they have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

easy access

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show examples

every convenient thing they want in

life

For example

, expensive

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

or cars.

Secondly

, they can travel the world and can visit where ever they like. The ability to own anything and do whatever they want gives them joy.

Thus

money

helps people to own any kind of

life

they want to enjoy.

On the contrary

, with a lot of

money

people can bring

happiness

thier

Correct your spelling

their

lives but it does not mean that there is not any other thing which can make them happy.The best example of it is relationships and family. A healthy relationship

provide

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provides

show examples

multitudes immense joy and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

spending

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality time with

lovedones

Correct your spelling

loved ones

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them

satistfaction

Correct your spelling

satisfaction

Thus

human

Add an article

a human

the human

show examples

cannot enjoy their whole

life

with only

money

, they need

thier

Correct your spelling

their

family around, with whom they can share their

happiness

To conclude

money

is important to survive in

this

materialistic world and

money

can be a way to enjoy

life

buy

Correct your spelling

show examples

buying expensive things but having family and friends around gives satisfaction in

life

Submitted by raveenagw9 on Sat May 06 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. how might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life make poeple happy?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

1.Today, lots of people have their own computer and a telephone, which made it easy for people to do job at their home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?