IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies
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It is argued that the more difficult the hobby, the more enjoyment
people
Use synonyms
 get. In my point of view,
hobbies
Use synonyms
 are leisure
activities
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 that we do in our free
time
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 to have fun so it does not matter whether it is easy or hard. Depending on attitudes, mindsets and personalities, the interests and thoughts of human beings are different. There are some
people
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 who enjoy carrying out hard
activities
Use synonyms
 as a hobby since they feel bored doing easy ones.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they feel delighted by completing complicated recreational
activities
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
person
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 who did skydiving will be more proud of themselves than those who ran in the garden.
Moreover
Linking Words
, performing challenging
hobbies
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 can support the
person
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 in his career. As an example, a man who plays chess, one of the difficult games, is able to think critically more than any others.
This
Linking Words
 can give him benefits whenever he makes decisions not only in his personal matters but
also
Linking Words
 in his professional life. That’s why
people
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 prefer to carry out hard pastime
hobbies
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is claimed that
hobbies
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 are just for pleasure not for achievements. The main purpose of doing recreational
activities
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 is to get relaxed, not for success, which means reducing the stress in our free
time
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 do not need to choose the hard or simple one and it is fine if they enjoy doing those
hobbies
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a
person
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 who likes being a couch potato would love staying at home and watching movies in his relaxation
time
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 rather than going to the pool and diving.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
person
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 who likes singing might prefer singing rather than skiing. Even though watching movies and singing could be said to be an easy
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 to carry out, they can be good
hobbies
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 if they can give pleasure to humans.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 have to struggle a lot for their living so free
time
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 is as valuable as gold for them. That’s why they should spend it doing things they enjoy rather than choosing hard or easy
activities
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. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 completing difficult tasks can give
people
Use synonyms
 ecstasy, simple things are the best for some
people
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 if they really love them.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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