Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person’s income. The health of a person is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. To what extend do you agree with this opinion?

In these individualization societies, people often just think of their personal issues and ignore the needs of the broader society for instant healthcare. Public now often advocate for offending free

health

Use synonyms

care in the nation, where they

claimed

Wrong verb form

claim

show examples

that

health

Use synonyms

is an individual issue and that the law should not allocate funds for that sector. I strongly disagree that the community need to fully pay for their well-being care

due to

Linking Words

well-being is a personal concern. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the subject with examples by demonstrating my standpoint.

Firstly

Linking Words

, everyone's

health

Use synonyms

problems are significant individual matters, but

while

Linking Words

we critically look at these problems we often

found that

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

connections between

health

Use synonyms

and society.

For example

Linking Words

, the population who have lung infections might be living in a place

that is

Linking Words

close to industrial areas.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the environment that they staying in has crucially impacted their well-being.

This

Linking Words

is one of the reasons, the politics should fund

this

Linking Words

sector, because the communities do get benefits from the industry to build a stronger economy in the nation. Another

facts

Fix the agreement mistake

fact

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the impact of generational trauma where a community might have a mental and physical disability

due to

Linking Words

their genetics and family history.

Likewise

Linking Words

, for the community that survives the war, the next generations would have some well-being concerns about genetics as their parents have been infected during the war that includes: Nuclear boom.

As a result

Linking Words

, the younger generation might be born with a disability or cognitively impacted their development process. In conclusion, the authority should support the system to be able to assist communities who lack support and need assistance from well-being responsibility practitioners. From my knowledge, I reiterate the disagreement of the authority to terminate their support of

health

Use synonyms

care systems.

SugerMei

May 7, 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Work on refining your logical structure by ensuring your essay presents a clear flow of ideas. Each point should smoothly transition to the next.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are effective, but continue to strengthen your thesis with specific argument framing.

Task Response

Aim to deepen your analysis by elaborating more on the connections between your examples and your central argument.

Task Response

Clarify your main ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

Task Response

Your essay provides relevant examples, such as the environmental impact on health and generational trauma, which effectively support your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, giving your essay a strong framework and context for your argument.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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