IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that countries should invite foreign companies to open their brunches, offices and factories in order to develop their economies. Others think countries should invest in their own companies instead. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

#people #countries #companies #brunches #offices #factories #economies
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The economy is an essential sector in any country
thus
, the
government
 should take care
of
Correct pronoun usage
itof
show examples
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some people claim that
countries
 should attract foreign
companies
 to run their
businesses
 to flourish their
economies
, others believe that
countries
 should invest in their local
companies
instead
. I believe the
countries
 should develop and increase their local
companies
 rather than depending on foreign business. on the one hand, the
government
 gives opportunities to foreign
businesses
 to be operated on their lands which ends up generating a huge profit and
also
 there will be a lot of job opportunities for the jobless. for ,example some golf
countries
 depend on foreign
companies
 to build and boost their
economies
. So, some people believe if the authorities allow international
companies
 to run their
businesses
, it will be beneficial for their
economies
.
on the other hand
, people think that the more
countries
 invest in their own
companies
 the more beneficial their
economies
 will be. The main reason behind
that is
 the
countries
 will depend on themself to create and develop their
economies
instead
 of depending on foreigners,
in addition
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the
countries
 took care of their local
companies
, they would turn out to be international
companies
.
for example
, Tushiba Alaraby was an Egyptian local company and the Egyptian
government
 invested money and time in it and
then
 it has become an international company. investing in a local company is important to progress the economy without depending on foreign
companies
. in conclusion. some individuals believe that
countries
 should give foreign business opportunities to start
businesses
 to make progress in the
economies
however
 I believe the
government
 should support their own
businesses
instead
.
Submitted by imanmuhamed.3089 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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