Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative developments?

Today some kids waste a lot of
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
every day with their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. I think it is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development. Nowadays
children
spend more
time
with mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. It is positive site
children
learn some things and languages. In the past
children
face
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any new word their
need
Replace the word
needed
show examples
to find
this
word from a dictionary but now
children
just use a
phone
and save a lot of
time
. But on the other negative
site
Correct your spelling
side
show examples
is
children
often confused because of
now
Correct your spelling
how
show examples
some bad information grown up
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Internet so
children
lost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
. in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
children
need to daily routine
this
help
children
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
aside a lot of
time
In conclusion,
children
waste
time
with their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. They need
life
Correct article usage
a life
show examples
balance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
save
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: