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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that children should start school at early very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older.Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age #disscuss
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There are some who believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should send to
school
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 in small age,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they have to wait until grow up. I am
on
Change preposition
of
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 the view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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 idea have more valid , even if there are some points with the former. The people who argue to
sent
Change the form of the verb
send
show examples
children
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 to
school
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Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age could think about the communication skill which they develop by interacting with
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 peers. To illustrate they are getting more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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 to speak and play with their friends , which will enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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verbal and social communication.
Apart from
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Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they think about the
time
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 savings of their parents. By sending the
children
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 to schools the parents will get spare
time
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,
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apply
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so that they can go
for
Change preposition
to
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 work and do jobs to meet the other needs of their
children
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
,
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apply
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children
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 should wait to go
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
to school
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 until they have proper brain development.
In other words
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, the
children
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 will have
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
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 growth of that organ when they become five years or above.
That is
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 the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 why all developed countries have made a certain
time
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 fee for schooling.
Furthermore
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 , early leaving
from
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apply
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home can adversely affect the mental condition of the child . They may be anxious and nervous because of early Separation from
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 parents which may cause keep crying in
school
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. So it is better to keep
children
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 in
school
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untill
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until
 they are emotionally and physically mature to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
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school
Use synonyms
 settings. In conclusion ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 there are benefits of communication and
time
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 saving by sending
children
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 early to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
, I believe that they should be at home till they have proper brain development and mental strength to accept schooling.
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational foundation
  • social skills
  • intellectual growth
  • creativity
  • structured learning environments
  • stress and burnout
  • emotionally and socially
  • well-rounded educational experience
  • formal school system
  • academic performance
  • anxiety
  • individual needs
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