some people think that individuals are responsible to take care of own health and diet. But some claim that it is government' s duty. Discuss both views.

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Nowadays, individuals feel it is necessary for members of a family to lavish their income on family celebrations and others think it's a waste of resources. In my view, overspending money on life's moments

due to

Linking Words

society's pressure is not necessary.

However

Linking Words

, one should

also

Linking Words

make those events memorable.

This

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essay will discuss both views and derive a logical conclusion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is good to spend on family

parties

Use synonyms

especially when there is an event

that is

Linking Words

usually celebrated once in a lifetime

such

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as wedding ceremonies.

People

Use synonyms

believe that wedding

parties

Use synonyms

come once and if not celebrated well now, they will not have other opportunities to do so later in the future. To make the family happy, they spend every bit of their earnings to host

such

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parties

Use synonyms

For example

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, a pregnant woman who has waited for years before giving birth to a child will

also

Linking Words

plan a very elaborate celebration for the entire family and friends because it is seen as a way of appreciating God for

this

Linking Words

miracle.

On the other hand

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, some

people

Use synonyms

see extravagantly spending on these home

parties

Use synonyms

as a waste because some get themselves involved in loans and even empty their bank savings in other to make those arrangements. Since

people

Use synonyms

want to show off their standards to society, they get themselves into trouble by taking loans or emptying their savings.

For instance

Linking Words

, a person who has been attending family weddings for many years would like to leave a similar impression on others, even if a person has to take loans to fulfil that.

Hence

Linking Words

, these are social norms that

people

Use synonyms

are following without any thought process behind them. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

spending wealth on family celebrations cannot be avoided, there are other better things that the money can be channelled into which will

also

Linking Words

benefit the family positively rather than doing things to please the masses by feeding them during funfair activities.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should check their pockets rather competitive with society.

yoursvicky129Sun May 07 2023

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task response

Well done on discussing both views and providing a clear conclusion. Make sure to address all aspects of the given topic in more detail for a higher score.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but consider enhancing the transition between paragraphs to improve coherence.

task response

Introduces both perspectives on the topic and provides a balanced argument

coherence and cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion present

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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some people think that individuals are responsible to take care of own health and diet. But some claim that it is government' s duty. Discuss both views.

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

‏Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. ‏Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? ‏Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is suggested to learn history. While some pople think it has a little knowledge in it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.