Many people leave the countryside and their villages and move to the city. Give the reasons for this trend and give problems it may cause.

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In today's world, an increasing number of rural dwellers are moving to the
city
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. Cities today seem to be a magnet attracting
people
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. Clearly, many are interested in continuing their lives in an urban environment.
This
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essay will explain the reasons for
this
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trend and outline some potential
problems
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this
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may cause. On the one hand, there are multiple reasons why
people
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flock to the
city
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.
First,
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it is a new experience and a chance to start over and create a new life. The opportunity for a better life is a very appealing idea.
Second,
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it represents a wonderful future for their children. There are better opportunities for day care and education.
Moreover
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, there is a greater variety of schools, both public and private.
Finally
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, there are far more employment opportunities.
For example
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, it is easy to find work as a labourer or as a professional.
Also
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, there are agencies that assist
people
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in finding employment.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, mass immigration to a
city
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would create a series of
problems
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.
First,
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increasing the population dramatically could result in slums and overcrowding.
For example
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, there might not be enough affordable housing available.
Second,
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this
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could lead to an increase in crime.
Moreover
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, a rise in social
problems
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,
such
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as theft and personal property damage, might occur.
Thirdly
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, more
people
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would lead to an increase in every aspect of pollution.
This
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includes waste and an increased volume of garbage. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are an abundance of reasons that lead
people
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to move to the
city
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. The potential of a better life looms large.
However
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,
this
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movement could
also
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lead to more big-
city
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problems
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.

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task response
Add one more clear cause of this move, like low pay or few services in the countryside.
task response
Explain the problems more deeply. Say how crowding can hurt daily life and city services.
task response
Use more exact examples. For instance, name one job area or one school benefit.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some parts use 'First' and 'Second' well, but a few lines feel a bit list-like.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body paragraph to one main focus and develop each point with one short result or example.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small repetition, such as 'better life' and 'opportunities'. Try simple variety.
task response
You answer both parts of the task: reasons and problems.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linkers well, like 'First', 'Second', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are supported with short examples.
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