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Band 4.5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree with this view

#universities #amount #money #students #sports #activities #libraries
In today’s world, the idea of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
 activities has been a
contribute
Change the verb form
contributing
show examples
 issue for individuals . As far as l am concerned, there are many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 for spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 exercise. I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
 subject .
The
Correct article usage
An
show examples
 illustration of these reasons is provided below . The primary reason to take into account is both of the facilities ,
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
 and
library
 is viral
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
universities
 . It can be
further
 claimed that nowadays
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
 activities of
students
 have decreased a lot .
A
Change the article
An
show examples
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
sports
 program in the
universities
 must
added
Change the verb form
be added
add
show examples
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 most of the
universities
 have libraries and do not have
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
 or facilities for
students
exercise
Fix the infinitive
to exercise
show examples
 .
For example
 in my city , the
university
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have any
gym
 for
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
 and
students
 should go to
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 or seat in
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 The second substantial
reeson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 for the current discussion is
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 does not pay attention to
sports
 in the
universities
 . Maybe
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 have some people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
 and can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
.
Although
 because
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 attention to
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 daily exercise ,
students
 can’t use from
university
gym
 or act .
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 my brother is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 good football player but
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not receive them and he read
book
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
 in
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 . In conclusion, there are various positive
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
 activities as they allocate to their libraries. But it seems to me that the benefits of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
instead
 of make
library
Add an article
a library
show examples
 in
universities
 certainly outweigh the drawback
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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