IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree with this view

#universities #amount #money #students #sports #activities #libraries
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In today’s world, the idea of
spend
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spending
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money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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sports
Use synonyms
 activities has been a
contribute
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contributing
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 issue for individuals . As far as l am concerned, there are many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
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 for spend
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 exercise. I
am agree
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agree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 subject .
The
Correct article usage
An
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 illustration of these reasons is provided below . The primary reason to take into account is both of the facilities ,
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
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 and
library
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 is viral
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
universities
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 . It can be
further
Linking Words
 claimed that nowadays
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sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
 activities of
students
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 have decreased a lot .
A
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An
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addition
Replace the word
additional
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sports
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 program in the
universities
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 must
added
Change the verb form
be added
add
show examples
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 most of the
universities
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 have libraries and do not have
Use synonyms
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
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 or facilities for
students
Use synonyms
exercise
Fix the infinitive
to exercise
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 .
For example
Linking Words
 in my city , the
university
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have any
gym
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 for
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
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 and
students
Use synonyms
 should go to
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 or seat in
park
Add an article
the park
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..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 The second substantial
reeson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 for the current discussion is
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 does not pay attention to
sports
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 in the
universities
Use synonyms
 . Maybe
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 have some people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 and can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 because
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university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
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pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 attention to
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 daily exercise ,
students
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 can’t use from
university
Use synonyms
gym
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 or act .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 my brother is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 good football player but
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university
Correct article usage
the university
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do
Change the verb form
does
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 not receive them and he read
book
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 . In conclusion, there are various positive
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 activities as they allocate to their libraries. But it seems to me that the benefits of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of make
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
a library
show examples
 in
universities
Use synonyms
 certainly outweigh the drawback
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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