It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
There is no doubt that today’s children are facing a lot of problems different from those of the previous generations
due to
the huge pressure
put on them by society and social media
. This
essay will dive into two problems that have originated due to
that pressure
and attempt to introduce probable solutions for them.
To begin
with, one of the stresses that kids of this
generation are facing is the huge academic pressure
put on them, as they are needed
to excel in all subjects and activities in order to achieve the high and unjust standards of Wrong verb form
need
parents
and society. As a result
, young ones are not having enough free time to practice their hobbies and build various life skills, and that dereliction has led to a scary increase in the levels of anxiety and depression among children. To tackle this
issue , curriculums should be adjusted in a way that could offer young learners a balanced experience of education and leisure time.
Looking into another problem, social media
has resulted in increased tension among youngsters. This
is because of the unreal perfect image that influencers on social media
platforms draw as if life is always easy and problem-free. This
has resulted in the elevation of the insecurities that adolescents might have and a drop in their self-esteem and confidence. In addition
to this
, due to
their dissatisfaction with their lives, they might feel ungrateful for what their parents
are offering them. This
issue can be overcome by not allowing kids on social media
apps and putting supervision on their devices from parents
and companies in order to prevent their exposure to inappropriate content.
In conclusion, whereas
in the past kids suffered from different problems, nowadays they are facing a lot of different and harder challenges due to
the evolution of life, such
as the continuous pressure
put on them. But this
issue could be overcome by suitable supervision from governments and parents
.Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on
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Introduction Improvement
Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion. However, consider stating the problems a bit more explicitly in the introduction to improve clarity.
Example Enhancement
In the body paragraphs, ensure each main idea is well supported with examples. You could provide additional specific instances or studies related to academic pressure or social media effects.
Coherence Improvement
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Use more transition words and phrases to enhance the logical structure.
Conclusion Highlight
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and offers a clear stance on the topic.
Balanced Approach
The essay addresses both causes and solutions, maintaining a balanced approach throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.