IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The dangers and complexities of modern world have made mobile phone an absolute neccessity forchildren. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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The mobile
phone
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 has useful in our everyday
life
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. And
children
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 must have phones for their protection in danger. I will discuss my opinion of why agree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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,
children
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 must have a
phone
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 for their daily activities so they can use their school and connect to their family and friends. Mobile
phone
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 is important to monitor our
children
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 where they are.
For instance
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, mobile phones have the modern capability to detect locations via GPS.
Life
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 of our
children
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 is the most concern in our country there is a lot of kidnapping happening and without the GPS of the mobile we can not trace the location or maybe they can ask for help true gadget.
That is
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 why phones are important to our
kids
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.
Secondly
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, owning a
phone
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 for our
kids
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 is important to them and to parents so they can monitor and take care of their
children
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.
Although
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, there is a disadvantage to having a
phone
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 for
kids
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 it affects daily
life
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 and their health but we need to guide them and teach them how to use it properly. Because without communication with our ,
kids
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 it will be difficult to monitor where they are. In my ,opinion
children
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 must have a
phone
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 to them so it can easy to contact them and they can use it
also
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 for their daily activities.
To conclude
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, mobile
phone
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 is making an easy way to communicate with our
children
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 even though there are some advantages to them but, we need to give them to protect them from any danger to their
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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