IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries, government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

#countries #government #amount #money #internet #access
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In recent years, numerous
governments
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 around the world have been allocating significant resources towards enhancing
internet
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access
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 for their citizens.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 trend and evaluate whether
such
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 investments represent the most appropriate use of government funds. The increasing focus on improving
internet
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access
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 can be attributed to several factors.
Firstly
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, the
Internet
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 has become an indispensable tool for social and economic development. It serves as a platform for education, healthcare, commerce, and communication, making it essential for
governments
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 to ensure that their citizens have
access
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 to
this
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 vital resource. By investing in
internet
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 infrastructure,
governments
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 can bridge the digital divide and promote social equity, providing opportunities for all members of society to thrive in the digital age.
Secondly
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, the global economy is becoming increasingly dependent on digital technologies, making
internet
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access
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 crucial for countries to remain competitive.
Governments
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 recognize that by facilitating widespread
internet
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access
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, they can stimulate innovation, attract investment, and create job opportunities in various sectors,
such
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 as information technology and telecommunications.
Consequently
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, investing in
internet
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access
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 is seen as a strategic move to bolster economic growth and secure a nation's position in the global market.
While
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 the benefits of improved
internet
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access
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 are undeniable, it is crucial to consider whether
such
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 investments represent the most appropriate use of government funds. Some argue that
governments
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 should prioritize areas
such
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 as healthcare, education, or poverty alleviation.
However
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, it is important to recognize that enhancing
internet
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access
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 can, in fact, contribute to the improvement of these sectors by facilitating
access
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 to information, resources, and services.
Therefore
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, investing in
internet
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access
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 can be seen as a holistic approach to addressing various socio-economic challenges. In conclusion, the emphasis on improving
internet
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access
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 in
governments
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 is driven by the need for social equity and economic competitiveness in the digital era.
Although
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 other sectors may require attention, investing in
internet
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access
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 has the potential to yield far-reaching benefits, making it a justifiable use of government resources. By ensuring widespread
internet
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access
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,
governments
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 can empower their citizens and create a more inclusive and prosperous society.
Submitted by bwzhou on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively addresses all aspects of the question. You have provided a comprehensive response that covers the reasons behind the trend of government investment in internet access and evaluates the appropriateness of these investments. Well done!
coherence and cohesion
Your essay exhibits a strong logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The progression of ideas is coherent, and the essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout. Excellent work in presenting a well-structured and cohesive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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