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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people says that music is a good way of bringing people of different culturs and ages to gather. What to extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #music #culturs #ages
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Music
Use synonyms
 is like a bridge
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between different nations, cultures and communities. In my opinion
Correct article usage
the satement
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satement
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statement
 mentioned above is so true and I completely agree with it. It brings
people
Use synonyms
 together who are complete strangers, have nothing in common, unrelated to each other and many more. In the beginning, I would like to
share
Use synonyms
 a live example
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we all must have witnessed.
peoploe
Correct your spelling
People
 usually go
for
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apply
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clubbing these days where there is a huge crowd of unknowns. We
usual
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usually
show examples
 go with couple
friends
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of friends
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 but if you may recall we interact with numerous individuals. Some
people
Use synonyms
 might end up making new friends. If we notice on social platforms where we follow our
favoraite
Correct your spelling
favourite
music
Use synonyms
 celebrities as well, whenever they release new
music
Use synonyms
people
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 dance on it or sing along and shoot videos. Singers
share
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 those videos which they
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 from different parts of
world
Add an article
the world
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 even though
people
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 do not understand the lyrics properly.
Audience
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The audience
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 just
enjoy
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enjoys
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 the beats and vibes of the
music
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 which encourage them to get connected with certain
language's
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languages
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 or
comunities'
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communities'
music
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. Moving forward,
while
Linking Words
 visiting
to
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apply
show examples
any social event,
people
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 tend to talk about background
music
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 as
a
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the
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 first topic of interaction when they meet. With
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of new
music
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forms
Add a comma
,forms
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 there are thousands of
music
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 festivals which take place around the globe.
People
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 from worldwide travel thousands of
kilometers
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kilometres
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 to
particiapate
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participate
 and come to know more rituals,
cultures
Correct word choice
and cultures
show examples
 followed by
people
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 living there, visiting to function from other regions. We never know from whom we would get to learn something which could make our lives easier and
peaceful
Correct quantifier usage
more peaceful
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. Nations like
Indian
Correct your spelling
India
show examples
 and Pakistan do not
share
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 a very friendly relationship
due to
Linking Words
 some governmental issues but
people
Use synonyms
 from both nations
share
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same
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the same
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 interests in
music
Use synonyms
. Singers and
music
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 directors from both
contrries
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countries
 work together and release
meledious
Correct your spelling
melodious
 songs for their fans frequently. Through
Use synonyms
music
Add a comma
,music
show examples
 we get to know each other, clear misunderstandings and tend to understand other person's perspectives. In conclusion, I would like to say that
music
Use synonyms
 has no borders or boundaries and nobody in
this
Linking Words
 whole wide world is powerful enough to capture it
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place. It is like a free bird which can fly wherever it wants
on
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at
show examples
 its preferred speed and deliver beautiful messages through
innnovative
Correct your spelling
innovative
 creativity by its creator.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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