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Writing Samples
Band 6

What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #grandparents #generation #lack #exercise #computer #games #sites #tv #time
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In
this
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 modern era, young ones are spending too much
time
Use synonyms
 on electronic gadgets. They use electronic gadgets for different purposes
such
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 as playing games, chatting and so on.
Due to
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 ,
this
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 they do less physical exercise.
Although
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 I agree with the given notion up to a large extent, I
also
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 believe that there are some other reasons for doing less exercise by youngsters. which will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
 the subsequent paragraphs. A number of reasons why young
people
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 prefer to spend their
time
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 using smartphones and other gadgets
instead
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 of doing physical exercises. The predominant one is that young
people
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 want to get enjoyment by playing games on their smartphones. They do not want to do physical
activities
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 as they are very laziest
people
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. For doing physical
activities
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 they need more energy which is not in today's generation. Young ones prefer less healthy food
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why they have less energy.
Moreover
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, they do not need to go anywhere for meeting or communicating with their near and dear as they can talk to them with the aid of mobile phones
due to
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this
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 they are very laziest as compared to their ancestors. In the past ,
time
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 there is no kind of electronic which is why
people
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 have to go outside for meeting with others.
However
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, there are some other reasons for performing less physical
activities
Use synonyms
 by today's young
people
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. In
this
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 modern era , everyone becomes a workaholic, so they have less
time
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 for going to the park, gym and many more. They have to do a lot of work in a day and which they have to perform only on computers. In
this
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 competitive epoch, everyone has to do a lot of work for attaining success in their life.Owing to
this
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 young ones are not able to do physical
activities
Use synonyms
.Ergo,
this
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 could lead to numerous health problems in the future which could not be worthwhile for them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
due to
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 more usage of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 youngsters are not able to do physical
activities
Use synonyms
, I
also
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 believe that there are some others of performing less physical exercises by today's generation which are crucial to consider.
Submitted by MANJOT on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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