IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The public
health
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 is tackled in different ways in many countries across the globe. Some nations provide
healthcare
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 for the populations with no charge. Others,
however
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, do not have a public
system
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 capable
to assist
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of assisting
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 the citizens, unless they pay for the
service
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. I deeply agree with the idea that the welfare provision is the government's obligation and
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healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
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system
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 is part of it.

 As far as the citizens pay high taxes inlaid in many products and services, I believe that the provision of a public
healthcare
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system
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 is mandatory.
Besides
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 that, a country with
good
Correct article usage
a good
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healthcare
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system
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 is capable of diminishing social problems and increasing living standards.
Thus
Linking Words
, the construction of
health
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 facilities, vaccine programmes and medical follow-up should be afforded by the state, creating a
favorable
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favourable
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 environment
to
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for
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 social and economic development. Unfortunately,
however
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, implementing a robust
system
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 which is able to deal with all the
health
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 problems of a population in a huge country is not easy and cheap. In my nation,
for example
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, it is possible to see many failures in the national programme. Due
the
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to the
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 size of the country, there
are
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is
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 an immense demand for the
service
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 and in many cases, the waiting queue is too long that people die waiting for the
service
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.
In addition
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, the
system
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 has to deal with corruption, which makes the quality of the
service
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 pretty much lower than in the original plan.


To conclude
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, despite the problems that Brazil tackle concerning the national
health
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 programme, we can count on professionals who work seriously affording quality of life and safety for the population, thanks to the role played in
this
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 field by the state in providing
such
Linking Words
service
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.

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction clearly states your viewpoint on the topic and briefly outlines the arguments you will discuss. While your introduction establishes a stance, making it clearer will help readers understand your position from the start.
Main Body Coherence
In your main body paragraphs, aim for a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relates to the overall topic and clearly states the main point of the paragraph.
Examples and Support
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention a personal anecdote about your nation, broadening your examples to include comparisons, statistics, or studies would enhance the credibility of your arguments.
Linking Devices
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your essay with ease.
Conclusion Strength
To improve task achievement, ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main arguments and restates your position clearly. This strengthens your overall response to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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