The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999.
The pie chart compares figures for
visitors
to four categories of tourist attraction and to five different
theme
parks in Britain in 1999.
It is clear that
theme
parks and museums / galleries were the two most popular types of tourist attraction in that year. Blackpool Pleasure Beach received by far the highest proportion of
visitors
in the
theme
park
sector. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that 38% of the surveyed
visitors
went to a
theme
park
, and 37% of them went to a museum or gallery.
By contrast
, historic houses and monuments were visited by only 16% of the sample,
while
wildlife parks and zoos were the least popular of the four types of tourist
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
, with only 9% of
visitors
. In the
theme
park
sector, almost half of the people surveyed (47%) had been to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Alton Towers was the second most popular amusement
park
, with 17% of the sample, followed by Pleasureland in Southport, with 16%.
Finally
, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland Windsor
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
each welcomed 10% of the surveyed
visitors
.
Submitted by lnthanhvy06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, theme, park with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: