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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.
#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes
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The next
two
Use synonyms
 diagrams illustrate the future reorganization
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 site in 2024, which
planned
Add a missing verb
is planned
show examples
 for increasing the capability of
students
Use synonyms
 from 600 to 1000 per year in
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are some key changes for
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 site.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In 2024, it will be the new buildings for
students
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
school
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 building 3,
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 path between constructions one and
two
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,
small
Correct article usage
a small
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area
Use synonyms
 for
sports
Use synonyms
, additional
car
Use synonyms
 parking and
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 road around the whole
area
Use synonyms
. First of all, In 2004, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only 600
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 campus. It was only
two
Use synonyms
buidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 for lessons,
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park before
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
entraince
Correct your spelling
entrance
,
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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area
Use synonyms
 ,
Linking Words
finally
Correct word choice
and finally
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,
walking
Correct article usage
a walking
show examples
 way between
Correct article usage
the entraince
show examples
entraince
Correct your spelling
entrance
 and
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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 field. Plus,all facilities were surrounded by forest.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the main change will be the number of
students
Use synonyms
 in 2024. It will have a significant increase to one thousand people in
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, there are new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as modern
school
Use synonyms
 building №3. On top of that, on the right side, it will be the second
car
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 park, after that, it will
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
decreased
sports
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
 planned to make
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 road longer than
Correct article usage
the previous
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previous
Correct pronoun usage
oneprevious
show examples
, from
main
Add an article
the main
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 entrance to
car
Use synonyms
 park
two
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the first and second studying buildings will
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 passage between them. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it will be comfortable and save time for
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
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 and
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by olqa.zvereva01 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, school, students, area, sports, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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