Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sugar
has become essential in many
products
,
such
as
drinks
, snacks, and desserts.
Sugar
causes health problems like diabetes. The
products
are sold in the supermarket on a huge scale.
Products
containing a lot of
sugar
should be sold at a higher price to encourage
people
to consume less
sugar
. I will describe whether I agree or disagree with
this
statement in
this
essay. In the modern era, food manufacturing is developed. They make some innovations to get more consumers. Two years ago in Indonesia, there was a phenomenon that surprise netizens. The first introduction of Thai tea. The
drinks
are made from tea,
milk
Correct word choice
and milk
show examples
, and the important component is
sugar
. The
drinks
were very sweet because of the ingredients. Since the price was cheap everyone wanted to try it. Not just in
drinks
, but many food contains
sugar
including rice.
However
, humans have a limit to consuming
sugar
every day. Taking
sugar
at an abnormal amount is not good for the body.
For example
,
sugar
causes drawbacks
such
as diabetes and hyperactivity in children. Diabetes can cause other illnesses,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
High blood pressure, Kidney problems, and stroke.
On the other hand
,
Sugar
is a taste that everybody loves and can make
people
happy. More choices in
drinks
and beverages in the food industry,
such
as desserts,
drinks
, and snacks, make
people
eat
sugar
more and more. The innovations of manufacturing make
people
put big interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it, the price of that
products
is not high so that every
people
can afford it.
Sugar
is addictive, and somehow it is more dangerous than ecstasy. To summarize, I strongly agree sugary
products
should be sold at high prices because many disadvantages of it.
Sugar
makes
people
suffer from diseases and reduces human productivity, not just for adults but for children as well.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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