IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Discuss the issue of childhood obesity in the 21st century and propose solutions. To what extent should the government, schools, and parents be responsible for addressing this problem?

#childhood #obesity #st #century #government #schools #parents
Childhood
obesity
 has emerged as a pressing issue in the 21st century, demanding immediate attention. Unhealthy lifestyles and poor dietary habits are major contributors to
this
 problem. To effectively address kids'
obesity
, requires collaborative efforts from the government, the academy, and
children
's
parents
. The government plays a vital role in combating childhood
obesity
 through policy interventions. They can allocate funds for public health campaigns and provide subsidies for healthy foods, making them more accessible and affordable.
Additionally
, regulations can be implemented to restrict the marketing of unhealthy foods to offspring. These measures create an enabling environment for healthy choices. Academy has a responsibility to educate and promote healthy behaviours. Physical education classes and sports programs can encourage regular physical activity among students. School cafeterias can offer nutritious meal options, ensuring that offspring have access to balanced diets. By integrating health education into the curriculum, the department empowers the scion with the knowledge and skills to make informed decisions about their well-being.
Parents
 are crucial in shaping
children
's habits and lifestyles. They can limit screen time, encourage outdoor activities, and provide nutritious meals and snacks at home. By being role models and practising healthy behaviours themselves,
parents
 can inspire their
children
 to adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Open communication about the importance of physical activity and balanced nutrition
further
 reinforces positive habits. In conclusion, addressing childhood
obesity
 requires collaborative action from the government, schools, and
parents
. Through policy interventions, education, and fostering healthy environments, we can combat
this
 issue effectively. By promoting healthy choices and providing the necessary support, we can improve the well-being of
children
 and pave the way for a healthier future generation.
Submitted by rimkahan8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: