In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Today’s

companies

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persist in the creativity of their supplies in their advertisements everywhere.

Overall

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, as everyone knows, it is the fact that technology has covered all aspects of our life and it causes the new generation of

products

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However

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, I believe there are manifold disadvantages to

this

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notion.

To begin

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with, consumerism stimulates

companies

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to create a newer generation of

products

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every year.

This

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stimulation, not only leads to bringing out the hidden creativity of factories but

also

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makes a challenging environment for them to be dominant in the market.

For instance

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, Samsung and Apple express their watch in a big announcement every year and consist of the new features and services which have been provided.

Hence

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, many individuals believe it is a competition between two big

companies

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that want to be the first seller of watches throughout the world.

Also

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, their engineers try their best to deploy the art of facilities to show the highest level of ingenuity in the vintages.

However

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, these commercials have many negative feedbacks.

Firstly

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although

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it makes life easier, consumerism has grown remarkably from the past. Many individuals are forced to devote a big part of their monthly salary to buy these

products

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Secondly

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, if there is no advertising monitoring by authorities,

companies

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can present several inappropriate things about their new product. A salient example is that a Chinese company had claimed two years ago that its new electronic watch is water durable, but many customers just found out it was a lie after buying the vintage.

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, I believe the development of technology is too risky,

although

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robots will capture our interest, they can hold every aspect of our lives. In conclusion,

companies

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are making extraordinary

products

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day by day and it has several advantages.

Nevertheless

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, we can deny the fact that the drawbacks of

this

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enhancement are by no means negligible.

farzin_seyednejadSun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure that guides the reader through your points. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs and make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. The introduction and conclusion were present and generally framed the essay, but could have been more impactful with stronger thesis statements and summaries.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. In this essay, some examples were provided but they were not always clearly connected to the main argument or fully elaborated.

task achievement

Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout with well-developed ideas. The response to the prompt was somewhat complete but could have benefited from further exploration of the reasons behind the emphasis on 'new' in advertising, as well as a deeper analysis of its implications.

task achievement

Develop your ideas clearly and comprehensively, providing an in-depth exploration of the topic. Work on expanding your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive discussion.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to reinforce your arguments throughout the essay. While some examples were present, ensuring their relevance and elaborating on them would enhance the validity of the points made.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems.

Expert say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas , now many suffer loneliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disargree?