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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people have little awareness of the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons and how can people learn more about the natural world?

#people #awareness #importance #world
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In recent times,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have small knowledge of the relevance of the natural
world
Use synonyms
 there are various reasons do
this
Linking Words
 which include
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 death
rate
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 affects and the effects of
pollution
Use synonyms
 and
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 can be taught more through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 creating more awareness.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 are beginning to know the importance of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 natural
world
Use synonyms
 because of the increase in the loss of human lives
that is
Linking Words
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a result of our carelessness towards nature. It's been observed that the
rate
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 of disease and illness has drastically gone up
due to
Linking Words
 the way
individuals
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 less value natural plants, air ,
water
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 and soil.
For example
Linking Words
, in the recent
time
Add a comma
,time
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 the extent
in
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to
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 which deforestation is taking place has made it difficult for
individuals
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 to get fresh and good air for breathing. Most of the
airs
Fix the agreement mistake
air
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 we received a contaminated
as a result
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 of
construction
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the construction
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 of buildings leading to congestion and
also
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 Bush burning which can lead to one disease or the other when
over
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apply
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accumulated.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
rate
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 of
pollution
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 is on the increase as
Linking Words
this natural things
Change the determiner
this natural thing
these natural things
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such
Linking Words
 as air,
water
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 and the environment at large are been polluted by human activities
such
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
as this
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, leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in illnesses around the
world
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. Because
of
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
pollution
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
occurs, it will be difficult to get clean
water
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 food or plant and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
rate
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 of industrial
pollution
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 is
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
affecting
clean
Correct article usage
the clean
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water
Use synonyms
 we get from the river and
also
Linking Words
 sea creatures
such
Linking Words
 as fish.
Individuals
Use synonyms
 can be educated more about the natural
world
Use synonyms
 through the government creating awareness
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 organising programs and sending out
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 on the importance
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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. To summit up,
individuals
Use synonyms
 should be educated on the relevances of nature through social platforms and creating awareness in the villages and other important places so as to cut down the effect that comes with abuse to
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
 environment.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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