IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. Thus , they argue leads to more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfactory working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life
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Competition in every sector is raising day by day,
consequently
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals pursue their goals from young age enthusiastically and
thus
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, their professional life become more delightful.
This
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 essay shall delve into narrating some favourable aspects
to
Change preposition
of
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given
Correct article usage
the given
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 notion
along with
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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 measures to make their
career
Use synonyms
 more satisfactory in looming paragraphs. First and foremost, is
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 worthwhile to focus on the adequate path to start their
career
Use synonyms
 early? Undoubtedly yes. The most prominent factor is that being
object oriented
Add a hyphen
object-oriented
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 leads youth to have more enlightenment on the subjects necessary to accomplish their goal. More specifically, they can lead them to acquire
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 knowledge about the potential
career
Use synonyms
. To epitome, the toddlers who aimed to become IAS or IPS Officer in India
,
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apply
show examples
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
 the preparation for the entrance exam from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age. Eventually, the person gets mentally focused and does not have any confusion
to think
Change the verb form
thinking
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 about their
career
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult age. Moving
further
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, there are enormous factors
following
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which can help to attain inner pleasure from the job and the most superlative way is to get employed in their
dreamed
Replace the word
dream
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 field of work. They should not randomly
applied
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be applied
apply
show examples
 for any job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 pay scale. Salary is not only the factor which can allocate them satisfaction.
In other words
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, they cannot progress in their job if they will not get the desired work. They will always have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second thoughts to resign from the current organisation and follow their goals.
For instance
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, the survey conducted in the
google
Correct your spelling
Google
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 organisation showcased that nearly half of its
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 choose employment
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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only as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter of high remunerations, but they do it relish their work. In crux, it is totally rational to select the professional path from the
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
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 time period because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it not only
render
Change the verb form
renders
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 more understanding but
also
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person
Correct article usage
the person
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not suffer from disappointment.
Submitted by pawanthind419 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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